Wrestling Giants – The Sun And The Mars Bar
Posted on April 23, 2008 - Filed Under Arts and Entertainment | Leave a Comment
As supermarkets take centre stage for battles between Pepsi and Coke, Carlsberg and Heineken, McDonalds’s and Burger King it begs to ask the question what other businesses are fighting for the sum of money you usually find in your trouser pocket?
In a world where virtually any company can compete against everyone, the Mars Bar and The Sun are having a rivalry across all available frontiers. Though we have not (yet) come to an age where you can eat and read a newspaper, both are ancient in existence and with the same price tag they are eternally battling for the Queen’s nose. Indeed at 50p they are surely worth every penny for whatever it is they offer – pleasure, humor, satisfaction, sodium bicarbonate?
Read More..>>Are They Being Nosey?
Posted on April 18, 2008 - Filed Under Arts and Entertainment | Leave a Comment
“The check’s in the mail”. “No, you don’t look fat in that”. “You don’t look that old”. These are familiar exaggerations, white lies or what my grandmother called Pinocchio noses.
A building contractor nose how to convince you the remodeling will be done on time. A used car dealer nose how to make an old car look good. A lawyer nose how to make his client look innocent.
When I was an innocent child and the doctor said, “This won’t hurt”, I was too busy looking at the lollypop to see if his nose got longer. Now I watch the doctor’s nose very carefully.
Read More..>>The Infamous Donut – Make Your Mark
Posted on April 8, 2008 - Filed Under Arts and Entertainment | Leave a Comment
Close your eyes and think back to the 60′s and 70′s. Remember the high-spirited drivers that bought and drove the muscle cars? This may help – -
Donut: Definition – Circular design produced on a road surface by a vehicle’s tires when they are rotating with a greater angular velocity than the road under them.
As the name implies, the basic shape is round but many options exist. In fact, even the straight burn out has been called a donut. Spirals, check-marks, hooks, sweeps, etc. have been chosen to make a statement and named “donut” over the years. Whichever is planted on the road, the car tires must revolve faster than the road surface and leave a lasting mark.
Read More..>>Secret Sacrilege
Posted on April 7, 2008 - Filed Under Arts and Entertainment | Leave a Comment
I have a deep seated secret.
Wait, let’s start a bit earlier than that. This is the time of the year when little Catholic children of 7-8 years of age receive their First Holy Communion. Yep, it’s when they receive Jesus for the fist time ever, in the form of a thin wafer dipped in wine.
Read More..>>Humor – Doctor With The Screwdriver
Posted on April 6, 2008 - Filed Under Arts and Entertainment | Leave a Comment
The lights are focused and gloved fingers ply inside the belly with a tong of forceps. The blood soaked sponge keeps the operating area clean and visible. Dr. Silly would be in his elements with such a gory sight. It would not curdle up his blood. It is said that appendix is the bread and butter of a surgeon. One appendix is bread and more number of appendices he removes the more butter it brings to his family. No wonder a patient who was found gripping his belly with pain, hardly able to speak, was found to carry in his pocket a note: “Doctor, please do not remove my appendix. It has been removed thrice.” But here was a strange spectacle inside Dr. Silly’s consulting room. What was Dr. Silly doing in his own consulting room, kneeling down, kowtowing, head almost touching the floor, and gaze turned upwards at the cabinet box of CPU? I admit he was at a liberty to do any thing in his own consulting room, as long as he was alone. But the human mind is inquisitive and this strange position that is not described in any of the kamsutra positions would perplex anybody. His consulting room had the same lavish ambience that you find in the Crystal Ball Room of the five star hotel of Taj International Group. Just awesome!
Read More..>>What To Do Instead Of Killing Your Husband
Posted on April 1, 2008 - Filed Under Arts and Entertainment | Leave a Comment
Sometimes, husbands are really annoying. For an Irish, redhead like me, this can cause problems. During private sessions with clients and over many years of marriage, I’ve discovered a few tricks to avoid homicide when faced with you own beloved husband disguised as the village idiot… May these tips help you avoid temptation…
1. Pedicure. Pretty toes are very good to look at while you are having a “talk” with your husband about whatever said grievance is occurring. As the ridiculous phases float out of his mouth you can distract yourself by watching the light reflect off your pretty toes. Hot red means business!
Read More..>>Great Humor Book – The Secret Diary Of Adrian Cat
Posted on March 21, 2008 - Filed Under Arts and Entertainment | Leave a Comment
SUMMARY: The secret lives and loves of cats are revealed in this adventure novel, entitled “The Secret Diary of Adrian Cat” that peeks into a year in the life of the mischievous feline Adrian Cat. Adrian is having trouble keeping his new year’s resolutions (especially “I will not be condescending to my humans”), and he’s also adjusting to the fact that his humans have a new baby, his best friend needs constant help, and he’s in love for the first time—with the angelic-seeming Snowball. But Snowball turns out to be less than perfect and tries to lead Adrian into organized crime. She forces him to join the evil cat Killer’s gang. After numerous misadventures he realizes that he does not love the beautiful but power-crazed Snowball and really loves the scruffy yet tender alley cat named Gypsy. After Killer’s gang runs Gypsy out of town, Adrian is forced to make some strange friends, fight the evil Killer and travel a rough road in order to convince Gypsy of his love.
Read More..>>Do Clothes Horses Wear Polo Shirts?
Posted on March 19, 2008 - Filed Under Arts and Entertainment | Leave a Comment
If clothes make the man, dressing for success is done one pant leg at a time. A scientist needs a white lab coat. Both male and female executives need to be well coiffed in tailored suits, but the female executive has a chip on her shoulder from hitting her head on the glass ceiling. Politicians, with their hands out and talking out both sides of their mouths, should wear conservative suits accessorized, of course, with flag pins.
Accessories are an important part of the look. A professor with a worn briefcase looks like he knows more than a professor with a new briefcase. Add patches to the elbows of the professor’s tweed jacket and gray, unruly hair and you’ve got a professor who looks more than tenured. He’s looks twelveured. Patches on a NASCAR driver’s jacket and badges on an eagle scout’s uniform, however, aren’t accessories. They are real signs of achievement.
Read More..>>Across The Usa Part 5 – Ohio To Des Moines
Posted on March 16, 2008 - Filed Under Arts and Entertainment | Leave a Comment
It was the third day of my trip from Saranac Lake to Logan, Utah and I had traveled less than 1,000 miles. I awoke in my worn out dome tent at about 5 a.m., feeling the steady wind off the shore of Lake Eerie in Port Clinton, Ohio.
In my younger days, I’d always heard horror stories about pollution on this Great Lake, but I was determined to squeeze into my six-day trip as many natural wonders as a human could absorb. I had seen the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame already, and I was on pace to encounter “middle America” in its truest forms within the hour.
Read More..>>Can Exercise Be Exorcised?
Posted on March 10, 2008 - Filed Under Arts and Entertainment | Leave a Comment
My conscience won’t go on vacation. I can slather it with sunscreen and lay it in the sun, I can buy it maps and take it sightseeing, I can dress it up and take it out for a romantic dinner – but it refuses to go on vacation.
While I’m trying to have fun, my conscience continually lectures me. Although I try to explain that a vacation is time to do and eat things you don’t at home, it won’t listen. My conscience nags me most about exercise. It insists I make time to exercise on vacation.
When I first started an exercise program, jump roping was my exercise of choice. Yes, it had its ups and downs; but I didn’t need coordinated outfits, rainy days didn’t dampen my spirits and I could exercise my mind at the same time by watching early morning news on television.
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